January 15, 2010

What's on my heart

God has been using this song to speak to me the last couple days, but I did not realize why until now. There have been times when I have felt that my prayers were in vain. I felt uncertain about so many things. I did not know WHY things were happening. I just did not understand. I knew God was there, and I knew He cared, but knowing something and FEELING something are two totally different things. You can know something in your head but until you completely believe it with your whole being... it's pretty much worthless.
Today God spoke to me in a way that I don't think I have ever experience before. God used a friend of mine at church to tell me that He thinks I am BEAUTIFUL, that He is glad I am growing in Him, and that He wants me to PRESS IN to Him. To those who may not know me that well, you may not understand this, but...
I have had problems all my life feeling very lowly about myself. I did not feel like I was beautiful, nor did I THINK I was beautiful. I was made to feel like I was WORTHLESS and ugly since I Was in grade school. Over the years that thinking has slowly changed to something a little more positive, but my FEELING was still the same. I still did not feel or believe that I was beautiful. I still felt ugly and worthless. God spoke to me today to let me know that He truly believes that I am beautiful and that I need to believe that too. When God uses somebody else to tell you something, you KNOW it is important to Him. When somebody tells you something that God told them to tell you. Believe it. Take it to Heart. God loves us SO much. I mean, He sent His ONLY son. Whom He loved SO much to die for US. Talk about love. We cannot IMAGINE that kind of love. We can only experience it first hand. God longs to meet us. He longs for us to come to Him and experience the love He has for us. In return, He will fill you with a feeling you have NEVER experienced before. It is so powerful that it just pours out of us. God cannot be contained in one person. He spills out to everybody because He is just that great.
I hope this song speaks to you in the way that it has to me. God is holding onto us. He does not want us to leave Him. In times of desperation and doubt, He is always there for us.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:2




I Will Not Be Moved by Natalie Grant


I have been a wayward child,
I have acted out,
I have questioned sovereignty,
and had my share of doubts,

And though sometimes,
my prayers feel like their bouncing off the sky,
the hand that holds won't let me go,
and is the reason why

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart,
many times before,
My life has been a broken glass,
and I have kept the score,
of all my shattered dreams,
and though it seemed,
that I was far too gone,
my brokenness helped me to see,
it's grace I'm standing on.

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

And chaos in my life,
has been a badge I've worn,
and though I have been torn,
I will not be moved

I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But i will not be moved

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

Natalie Grant's video