August 7, 2009

contemplation

I have been thinking a lot lately about all the wonderful and awesome things God has done for me and my family. He has not only done a miracle in my son's life (which is HUGE), but he has continuously provided for my family (which sometimes seems almost as huge).
God has been reminding me over and over lately how much I am worth to him. It's like everywhere I go, God reminds me how much he loves me and how valuable I am to him. He wants me to realize and truly believe what I am hearing. This may sound a little confusing, but some of you might understand what I am talking about. For the others, I will enlighten you a little.
From as far back as I can remember till I was in high school, I had somebody picking on me, making fun of me, calling me names, etc. After awhile you start believing what those people tell you. They made me feel like I was worthless and nobody wanted to be around me. Even long after the taunting stopped, I felt worthless.
God has been reminding me that I am a child of His, and He does not make junk. I am not worthless, I am extremely valuable. I am not trash because God does NOT make trash. God wants the best for me. Through the last couple months, I have come to truly believe what God says about me. People really DO like me and want to spend time with me. I am smart, loyal and can sing. I LOVE to sing.
Everybody is God's creation. We are NOT junk. God does not make junk. He made us in His image so we are not ugly cuz I just don't think it would be a good idea to call God ugly.... We are valuable. We each have talents and gifts that we should be using.
Right now I am taking classes on line to get my Bachelor's in Social Services. After I graduate, I plan on helping women and children who have been abused. This has been a passion of mine for quite awhile now. It hurts me deeply to see women and children abused when they have no reason to be abused. Maybe God has taken me through my difficult self-esteem times to help these people who have had all their positive self-esteem abused out of them. I can help them see just how much worth they really DO have so they feel like they can leave the relationship they are in. A lot of women that are abused, if not all, truly believe that they are not good enough for anything better than what they are getting. They truly believe they deserve the abuse they receive which is absolutely not true. It seems absurd for anybody who has not been abused to think anybody could really think that, but they really do. They need to know that they have a LOT of worth. I want to show them how much worth they have. I want them to truly believe they are more valuable than gold, more precious than rubies, etc. There is somebody that loves them far more than any other human ever could, and that love is unconditional. We can't do anything to EARN his love. He gave it to us before we were even born. All we have to do is accept it. We do not need to EARN anything from God, He freely gives.
Well, I think that's all the thoughts I have for now. I just wanted to share with you all how God has been working in my life lately. I hope some of you are inspired by this as well.